Anger Management Center
This page is just for fun. Know someone who needs a laugh? Do you? This page is just for that.
Bad Call Brick
©Shirley Thomas
When the referee’s call was made too quick,
it’s time to bring out the Bad Call Brick,
Throw it at the TV with aim so steady,
Now don’t you feel much better already?
"Brick" is sponge painted to look like a brick and measures 5 1/2" l x 3" w x 2" d
Dammit Dolls
Cute litte 9" dolls stuffed with fiber fill and squeaker in its head. Each doll is fabric themed (IT MAY NOT BE THE FABRIC PITURED) to the subject of the attached little poem
If you would prefer "Darnit", Just mention it in the message area of my cart.
Computer
When your computer just won’t obey
And seems to go its separate way,
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Diet
When the pounds aren’t going
And your hard work isn’t showing
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Love
When he seems so far away
And doesn’t listen to what you say
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Sports
When to game doesn’t go your way
And you need to see someone pay
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Teacher
When your classroom won’t behave
and you want to rant and rave,
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Golf
When every drive ends in the ruff
And throwing clubs just ain’t enough
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Kids
When the kids are acting up
And your house looks like a dump
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Rush Hour
When the road a head’s a parking lot,
And your gut's tied in a knot
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Job
When you think your job's the pits,
And getting a head is jut a wish
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Surgery/Sickness
When your body's in disarray,
And getting better seems years away
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Bad Day
When nothing seems to go your way,
And BAD doesn't describe your day
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
I can do the bricks in your team's colors, just tell me what they are in the message area of my cart.
Politicans
They buy your vote with promises so sweet
Yet in office it's the lobbyists they seek,
Until another election rolls around,
You're out of luck, they can't be found.
So now you grab your dammit doll
Paying the Bills
The bills pile up day by day,
Each month they seem harder to pay
You fret, you stress, it doesn't help at all
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Garden
If you planted seed that don't sprout,
But the weeds just keep popping out-
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Snow & Sun
If you live up North and it's snow, snow, snow-
Or way down South where the heat won't let go,
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
This doll has two sides
Boyfriend
When you figure there's not a brain in his head
And if looks could kill he'd be dead, Dead, DEAD
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Nurse
If the doctor is missing and won't answer a page
The patients are whiney - the relatives rage,
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Apartment/Dorm
If the upstairs dwellers romp and stomp,
The next door neighbors rock a lot-
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Golden Years
When the golden years don't look that way
You ache, forget, your sight's dimming away,
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Husband
He's annoying, he's charming - q real piece of work,
He listens, he doesn't, he's a prince, he's a jerk
For those times you almost wish looks could kill
Stop fuming and bang away at will
Just grasp me firmly by my legs
and find a place to slam me
As you whack imy stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch my head
And i will squeak for mercy!
Pregnacy
I lost sight of my toes months ago
My back aches, moods rage, my bladder's on constant go
It's time to grab my dammit doll.
I'll just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As I WHACK it’s stuffing out,
I WILL yell, “dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!”
Or better yet
I WILL pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
